Perfect moms have clean houses and clean kids. For those who follow my blog know that I have rarely a picture where my kids are perfectly clean and lets hope you don't look to close at the background of pictures to see just how unclean my house is. Oh, and if you stop by unannounced during the week, I might ignore the door because you might not be able to see my floor.
Perfect moms don't lie. "Yes, the candy is all gone" "Sorry McDonald's is closed" and "They don't have soda at this restaurant" are not considered lies are they?
Perfect mothers are mature. I like to pull down my husband's pants as he walks by and pinch my boys' butts. I know, really mature.
Perfect mothers always insist on good nutrition. Some mornings my boys eat chocolate and cookies at 8:00 a.m.
Perfect mothers never get upset or yell. Ya, that NEVER happens at our house.
Perfect mothers are not sarcastic. Ummm, please see above.
Perfect mothers are always appropriate. Even Chantry's brothers are disgusted at some of the things I say, and that says a lot.
Perfect mothers don't have children that use potty talk. I am really trying to teach the boys that farts aren't funny (even though I think they completely are) and that we don't need to announce to everyone what your poop looks like or that you have a weenie.
Perfect mothers have children that fold their arms and sit nicely on the couch when guests are over. I don't even think I can explain how embarrassed I was when our home teachers came over and it looked like Chantry and I have absolutely no control of our children. I am hoping every parent has been there before. Where you nicely say 100 times, "sit down, stop jumping on the couch, etc" and then once the guests leave you tell them just how inappropriate they acted and send them to their room. I am almost certain when our home teachers left last time they thought, oh boy, she is having another. Seriously, that bad!
Perfect mothers have children that are perfect at the store and never ask for anything. This mamma would be okay if she didn't step foot in a grocery store with two kids in tow again, but unfortunately we have to eat. I guess I will have to be okay with the stare downs I get from everyone while my kid is throwing a fit. Thanks man that has two kids behaving and says "I've been there before." I am sure you have, but at this moment that doesn't make it better.